Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
no you cant smoke seaweed
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I fill condoms, not promises.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
