I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Randomize
