He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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