Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
