Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
