I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
