what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
if only i could text you this smell
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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