I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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