I just made out with a guy for $7.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
