just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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