Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
