Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
