I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We need to get me chipped asap
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
