I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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