That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize