Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
