omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
