I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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