i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
