I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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