I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
