I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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