maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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