Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize