That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
