you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
