Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
