how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
