the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
