Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So squirting runs in the family.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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