You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
