I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize