I think scott just propositioned me for sex
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
