He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
