my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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