chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
