I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Shame is for Republicans.
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