you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
