who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
