There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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