so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
