I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
