u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
