also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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