You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
