How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
