so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
