If i could tip my vagina, i would.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
