she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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