drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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