you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
