i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
