Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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