so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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